The Spirit of Christmas
During my first semester of college, I felt as if something was pulling at every corner of my brain. My classes probed me endlessly, introducing new ideas and thoughts that left me speechless. My faith was jostled and I was left wanting sure footing. I had so many questions. With every new piece of information floating in, I begged to know the reasons behind what I believed. For the first time, I struggled aggressively, combating doubt toward God and Christianity. I jotted down dozens of spiritual questions that burned in me and kept them on a turquoise cardstock. Then I brought this list to trusted friends for their direction. They answered my questions vaguely, often with a smile tugging at their lips. They knew my questions were common among doubters even though the list felt fresh and new to me. It was Christmas break and I was back home for a few weeks. I found myself wrestling with God. I fought His will, I rebelled inwardly, tossing and turning between faith and doubt.